Both men and women can give their partner oral sex. But oral sex has official medical names too: oral sex on a woman the vagina, vulva and clitoris is called cunnilingus, and oral sex on a man the penis is called fellatio. Oral sex can be a natural and enjoyable part of sex between partners if both of you enjoy it and consent to it. You can give or receive oral sex as part of other sexual activity like vaginal or anal intercourse or on its own. But oral sex without a condom does come with risks.
The golden rule? The blow-job-trumps-cunnilingus status quo can be seen most obviously in porn. Studies examining the occurrence of sexual behaviors in porn have found blow jobs happen twice as often as cunnilingus. One study even found that anal sex occurs more often than cunnilingus in porn. It is no surprise that the blow job is seen as an essential part of sexy time while eating a woman out is seen as a rare treat. Men can -- and do -- opt out of orally visiting lady bits or just ignore the fact that it is an option altogether.
In fact, oral sex is widely known as the most reliable way to give a person with a vulva the big O. Studies consistently show that the vast majority of vulva-owners require clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm, and oral sex puts the clit front and center. This is just science, friends. The issue? Given the state of sex-ed in America, we're assuming you didn't hear the word "clitoris" in school.
Lack of oral sex came alongside a general lack of commitment to my sexual pleasure, unless it was easy and complemented what he wanted to do anyway. When it came to oral sex he would recoil as if disgusted I guess I just thought there was something wrong with my vagina.